What I learned in 13 seconds....

One one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand, four one thousand, five one thousand, six one thousand, seven one thousand, eight one thousand, nine one thousand, ten one thousand, eleven one thousand, twelve one thousand, thirteen one thousand.

at start-ready to kick butt

That is it...that is the amount of time I missed qualifying for Boston...13 stinking seconds!!  So many things I sit here now and question if it was the right decision and why in the world could I not pull out .05 second per mile over the course of that run yesterday.  I had all things going for me at the start of the race-I felt great, weather was perfect, tummy was settled and I had a great night sleep.  I was there at the start of my second marathon ever and was ready to throw down!!

I woke up this morning and remembered how I ran over to my cheering family two times out of my straight line of running to drop off layers of clothing while running and give high fives...and get my energy going!  Where those trips 13 seconds of time...water under the bridge but totally messing with my head.

fuzzy math at mile 25

Looking over the pictures they took...me at mile 25 I am looking at my watch...trying to do math on a crazy tired brain.  My goal was to stick with the 3:35 pace group until 18 and then leave them as I would still be feeling good.  Well I stuck with the group until 18 as planned but I did not push ahead but rather started to separate from them behind.  I could see them at slight curves in the road and they were getting further and further away.  I was telling my self to just do little pick ups to inch closer but nothing seemed to bring them near to me.

I then decided that I am okay...I can still qualify with something over 3:35...and then we got to mile 22....and I heard a large group of people behind me...it was the 3:40 pace group.  UGH!  I then told myself they started a little after we started so as long as I keep them in my sight I will be under 3:40. Mile 26 NEVER seemed to arrive...my watch had beeped for 26 but their marker was no where in sight. I did not see the 3:40 group anywhere.  I knew I was off a bit but this was not in my mental plans of making it under the 3:40 time.  

mile 26 marker

I pushed my legs when I realized I had 1:30 to run .2 miles...I felt like I was running in mud and molasses...it was horrible!  An old college buddy screamed out "Go Julie" while charging up to the finish line.  My pace for my last .49 miles was a 7 minute mile...who knew I had any juice left.  I crossed...looked at my watch and sure enough...it read 3:40:13.  I didn't make it. 

The last time I ran a marathon was in 2009...just for fun...did 4:17.44...this was a HUGE PR for me and my first real attempt at trying to qualify.  I should be proud!  I walked to get my pic taken with my medal and just kept telling myself to keep moving to find my crew.  I made it to a field of grass and started to stretch out my legs...I knew I had to sit down.  By the time they found me my teeth had started chattering and the leg cramps were in full swing.  I then laid down on the grass on a blanket with two sweatshirts on and more covering my body while Ben tried his best to rub out the cramps.  My body had nothing left and was tired...I had given it my all.

Splits for 26.49 Miles

cheering crew

cousins and aunt and uncle

Well here it is a day post race and yes I am proud of what I accomplished in my first real try.  I had many family members on the course cheering me along just when I needed it.  My hubby and four kiddos were at all the spots they said they would be along the way...wearing their Orange Visors.  I came home after a LONG LONG day and my friends had decorated the house and lots of positive words written on the driveway in colorful chalk.  It was wonderful.  Reading the comments from many friends on social media telling me how I how I should be so proud...that it was a true accomplishment...it all really started to sink in...and those 13 seconds were not in the front of my mind.  

great art work awaiting me from friends

I ran for three hours, forty minutes and thirteen seconds and I never stopped.  I pushed as hard as I could on that day.  I ran my second ever 26.2 mile race...and did the best I could.  I improved on my last race and am crazy sore today...rightfully so.  I embraced the suck that was every moment of that race-the quiet times on the back 8 miles where there was no fan support...the headwinds off the ocean...fighting off the desire to want to stop...but kept going...realizing that I was probably not going to make my goal but still pushing hard at the finish to get as close as I could.  

Finisher!! 3:40:13

I will do it again and I will make it...I will be under by more than 13 seconds.  I will continue to be proud of this accomplishment and not let those 13 seconds hold me down.  I worked my butt off for 18 weeks and did something amazing.  Just because there is some Boston qualifying time hanging out there doesn't mean I didn't run a great race and should hold my head high.  Again-I thank you all for your support and encouragement through this whole process.  I can't wait to call on you again to get me through another 18 weeks...maybe somebody reading this will join me on the next one!

Embrace the suck...choose you...and don't let 13 seconds hold you back from feeling proud and trying even harder next time!