Friday, July 29, 2016

I wish this...I wish that...

The week is wrapping up and my kiddos have been in camp for the past two weeks...we have just a few weeks left to this thing we call summer...I have yet to sit on my deck and have a late afternoon beer, sit around the fire pit making some smores with friends or stayed up late enough to catch a few shooting stars.  Summer has been fun and busy but I am SO EXCITED for these final four weeks of summer without a schedule!  

My summer running has been anything but spot on...the humidity has been killer and I am just not a hot weather runner...and that goes right along with my summer eating.  I seldom say no to dessert at night but instead limit myself to seconds of dinner.  I still am weighing and measuring and tracking as best as I can...for me...that is what works best.

Do I wish I was running stronger this I wish my shorts fit a little looser around my strong I wish I didn't feel the need to eat all the chips and guacamole when it is put out for an appetizer...HECK YA!

summer at it's best

The thing the end of the day...I control my choices and what I want to have as a result.  Right now my choices are giving me the results of not running my fastest, not fitting into things loosely...and loving chips and guacamole.  And for right now....THAT IS OKAY!  The numbers on the watch or on the scale are not controlling me this summer.  I know what it takes to make it fast and super fit.  It takes more than wishing for takes a whole lot of work...hard, sweaty, early mornings, exhausting days work.  

I am not mad at me for enjoying my summer, in fact it is a nice break from the laser focused me.  I have one race in September and that is all that is on the calendar.  I know that wishing I looked like x or y or feeling jealous of a person poolside and their amazing abs gets me no where.  Instead I look at that person and know that A LOT of work goes into them being physically fit.  A lot of hard choices have been made.  They did not wake up one day and just turn in to a fine human specimen.  Everyone makes a choice every day...and really that is the simple ugly truth.  You choose to do something or you choose to do nothing.

So while I continue to enjoy my summer...and my family...and not be so intense...I hope they are experiencing a more laid back summer mama.  I still have my three year old hold planks with me, my five year old squat it out on commercial breaks, my nine year old join me for a 5k through the neighborhood, and my twelve year old hate me for burpees being on the list of to dos.  And hubby is the one laser focused this summer...he is definitely not the one wishing for he is putting in ALL the hard work to give himself an amazing race at Kona in October.

So stop the wishing...and start the hard choices.  When I look back at my first training plan for my first race...the first distance I ran on day one was one mile...that is mile.  Everyone has to start somewhere...everyone can turn those wishes into hard work, sweat and results.  

Enjoy these final weeks of summer...I know I will!

Embrace the suck...choose you...stop wishing...start doing!

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Marked for life

I remember getting out of the outside shower at the shore when I was probably about 15 years old and I noticed I had a few marks on my thighs.  No clue what they were I went on my merry way of being a teenager on the jersey shore.  Over the next few months and years I acquired more marks on my legs and sure enough they are still with me today.

My twelve year old said to me the other day...."Wow have a lot of scars on your legs!"  The thing is they become more noticeable when I am tan so in the summer I deal with the same old question... Do I wrap myself up in a towel or do I just take on the world as it comes.  I have chosen choice number two.  As much as these marks drive me crazy they don't change who I am today.  I am sad when I think about how I "grew to fast" and my skin could just not keep up.  I had four babies and not one mark on my belly....however my teenage years will forever have a story to tell on my legs.

So what did I reply to my son...nothing more than the truth.  I got too big too fast and my skin had to stretch and it stretched too much.  I still look back on my whole journey and find it crazy that I have chosen THIS TIME to be strong...when I am fully exhausted, carting my kids in every direction, up to my eyeballs in to do lists, going to bed too late and waking up too is the time that I have chosen me.  I have to think that I have made this choice now for many reasons.  

When I was 23 I didn't think about the big picture, I didn't think about others and how my life would have an affect on them.  The enormity of the ones I love most having the biggest effect on me...and me wanting to be here, helping them, loving them and holding them is reason enough.   Now at 38 I have made the choice for strong.  I don't care about the marks on my legs.  I know that these legs have carried me to places I had only dreamed of going to.  I see the marks and use them as a reminder of where I came from and where I am capable of going back to.  I choose to be strong for myself, for my family, and for others so they know despite whatever "marks" you may can still choose strong.  There is no body shaming here...just lifting you up to let you know that despite what you are stronger and capable of great things.

Embrace the suck...choose you...choose strong!