Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Marked for life

I remember getting out of the outside shower at the shore when I was probably about 15 years old and I noticed I had a few marks on my thighs.  No clue what they were I went on my merry way of being a teenager on the jersey shore.  Over the next few months and years I acquired more marks on my legs and sure enough they are still with me today.

My twelve year old said to me the other day...."Wow have a lot of scars on your legs!"  The thing is they become more noticeable when I am tan so in the summer I deal with the same old question... Do I wrap myself up in a towel or do I just take on the world as it comes.  I have chosen choice number two.  As much as these marks drive me crazy they don't change who I am today.  I am sad when I think about how I "grew to fast" and my skin could just not keep up.  I had four babies and not one mark on my belly....however my teenage years will forever have a story to tell on my legs.

So what did I reply to my son...nothing more than the truth.  I got too big too fast and my skin had to stretch and it stretched too much.  I still look back on my whole journey and find it crazy that I have chosen THIS TIME to be strong...when I am fully exhausted, carting my kids in every direction, up to my eyeballs in to do lists, going to bed too late and waking up too is the time that I have chosen me.  I have to think that I have made this choice now for many reasons.  

When I was 23 I didn't think about the big picture, I didn't think about others and how my life would have an affect on them.  The enormity of the ones I love most having the biggest effect on me...and me wanting to be here, helping them, loving them and holding them is reason enough.   Now at 38 I have made the choice for strong.  I don't care about the marks on my legs.  I know that these legs have carried me to places I had only dreamed of going to.  I see the marks and use them as a reminder of where I came from and where I am capable of going back to.  I choose to be strong for myself, for my family, and for others so they know despite whatever "marks" you may can still choose strong.  There is no body shaming here...just lifting you up to let you know that despite what you are stronger and capable of great things.

Embrace the suck...choose you...choose strong!

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