With all these heavy hearts around it also reminds me of the fight I GET to put up every day, the choice I GET to make. So many people would love to continue to run, spend quality time with their family, compete in a 5k for the first time, become active with the ones they love, and just have one more day, one more chance.
Making the choice every day is hard and sometimes feels impossible. As I try to help others find their success I want to reach out to them and wrap my arms around them and just say: I am here to help you, not judge you or be critical of you-I KNOW what you are feeling...have felt it 100 times!! I still have to make the choice every day to drink my water, measure my food, log the bad days, put on my sneakers, go for that run, not give up on myself, and head upstairs to bed early so I do not continue to eat everything that is in my kitchen. I GET to make these choices every day. As hard as it may seem on most days it's something that others around me, especially my four children, see me do. That means so very much to me.
I love my kids so very much, they mean the world to me and I am so grateful that I am fortunate to be a mother to the craziness that is our family. There are days where I want to wave the white flag and throw in the towel...some weeks more of those than I care to admit. But it is the other days that I have to remember so that I can continue to push through the chaos and come out on the other side. The constant monitoring of everyone's happiness level and then making sure yours is up there too is exhausting and that alone is a full time job! You are only ever as happy as your saddest child...and wow is that so so true.
The one reward that my kids don't even know they bring me is their constant checking in and acceptance of their parents' craziness. They know my big race day is coming and that I am in my 16th week of training. They know that dad is away for the weekend so that he can take the classes he needs to become a triathlon coach. They see our progression over time during our training and will remind us that this is our longest run yet...it's going to be a tough one. They know that we have goals for ourselves as well as our family. They know that together we can make it work and when one wheel is out of line, its a rough road for everyone involved. They look forward to the celebration at the END of the accomplishment just as much as the participant.
|Post Ben's First IronMan Florida Nov 2013...Family Celebration|
So I GET to do all of this great stuff for not just me every day. I GET to keep myself strong and healthy so that I can be a better person for the people that need me most. Many people are sad today because the person they have loved cannot make those choices any more. Life is to short to live with regret and bitterness. Embrace what is around you, use it to fuel your fire that will get you to where you want to be. Choose to be the best version of you possible. That person is in there...you have to be willing to uncover them no matter how messy that process may be. Let those that love you most help you and in turn you will help them reach success as well. This is a world of give and take...and it feels so good to be the one to give...remember that!
Embrace the suck-choose you...because today you can!!