Time is moving on...and I am okay with it

We are in the days leading up to an EPIC snowstorm that is going to crush the DC area...I am reorganizing and sorting and donating and tossing everything in sight...one would think I was 7 months pregnant but that is DEFINITELY not the case, still nesting just not sure for what reason.

My youngest just had his third birthday and we are in the throws of potty training and getting him to be a "big boy."  With that comes time to order new bedding for a new twin sized bed and taking down the crib.  Not just any crib but the crib that held my four babies for many many years.  I remember finding this crib on Target online...it was a Bassett Baby crib and it was only sold in Target Super Stores.  Leesburg did not have one at the time, it was being built, and a women I worked with in NC was willing to go to her store and buy it and ship it to me.  I was set on my white wainscoting crib and had to have it and she was willing enough to help a crazy pregnant woman.

I bought my classic pooh bedding before I was even pregnant...I remember setting it up on our bed in our one bedroom apartment and being so excited to show Ben.  I knew he was probably going to think I was crazy but it was one that I had loved for some time and knew we would have babies soon so I went and bought it.  He did think I was crazy but his equal admiration for classic Pooh diluted his view of my insane behavior.  I also bought pink and blue penguin pjs from baby gap before I was pregnant...wow...I was crazy!

So now as I go closet to closet in our house and make bins....and try to hid certain things that the kids don't fit in anymore and hope they don't see for a certain five year old is very attached to certain dresses.  I took the baby taco stand that I used in my cradle and crib for all of them and just looked at it....I should save this...this was crucial in my kids sleeping through the night.  No Julie....you do not need to save this...it is time to move on!

Maternity clothes also headed out for donation.  As I looked at the dresses I remember an old colleague who said she actually had a nightmare of me going into labor in the conference room in that dress.  I loved being pregnant and having my little babies.  I loved becoming a mom and having all those special quiet moments.  I loved the smell of their heads and the tiny corn niblet toes that were inside those little socks.

So we have come to the empty bottle of dreft that still has the handwritten note on it from my cousin that said "get ready for pink lint." and the final bottle of Johnson & Johnson Head to Toe that makes those babies smell so amazing.  In all of these final things...I am not sad.  I am excited that these moments will forever be in my mind and my heart and now I get to make new bigger moments with this little people.  There will not be any more babies in this house...for all the people who thought I was losing it for having four kiddos...I will now try the next attempt to raise them into amazing, smart, kind, independent, strong willed little people.

This is not a suck I need to embrace...it's life happening...and I am okay with it.

Embrace the suck....choose you...survive the snow ;)