A friend wrote to me yesterday saying that she was losing herself...that she was doing all the wrong things and picking up her old habits. She was slowly gaining back a pound or so a month and she was feeling horrible on both the inside and the outside. Her pants were now noticeably tighter and she was not wanting to work out because she was ashamed of the weight she had gained. She felt like she just wanted to throw in the towel because that was easier. Wow do I know all of those things well.
As I started up the messaging conversation with "Jane" I was sharing my same current struggle..I still know every day what it feels like to not be feeling like your best and strongest self. I know the days of self doubt which only make staying the course and pushing yourself back on track seem near impossible. I know how easy it is to let those six pounds appear and know the fear that they will quickly double in numbers...and be twelve. The thing is...it is not about the number...but again...numbers are everywhere...and when we start to feel sluggish and things just don't seem to fit right and we are feeling low...sometimes we turn to the scale and there it is.
I am not sitting her saying that you need to let the scale rule you...but you know...let's be honest...that when those numbers creep up out of our comfort zone we are not a happier person, we don't feel like shining. I wish I knew the magic solution to get us turned back around...to make us believe in our self again...to trust in the process...to accept that progress can be slow...to know that bad days happen and you can't let that be the norm.
As I have been avoiding the scale since I was crushing things a few weeks back...I am easily up five pounds. Yup...I was feeling so good with all my process that I forgot one major aspect of this whole journey...exercise is NOT everything! I can run till my heart is content and my quads are burning...but I cannot just eat everything in sight. I can not rummage through the kitchen grabbing skittles and Hershey kisses from the kids valentine's goodies and not think they will count. I cannot go to choir practice for the kiddos and eat two large chocolate cookies after I was so careful to bring my own healthy dinner of sweet potatoes, ground turkey, avocado, tomatoes and cheese. I went through all that effort and then my mind lost it.
My advice to Jane was nothing profound. It basically was this...don't give up on you. You know that once you start getting yourself into that better place you won't want to stop the effort, that thing that drives you everyday will be there, the progress will start rolling and you will not want to quit on you. But the hardest part is that you need to consciously make the decision that you want to make that change. You can't just think that it would be great to be x, compete in x, feel more like you a little bit more every day. You need to accept the fact that a change is needed, and that you are willing to do the work and put forth BIG effort. You need to have a whole body commitment, body and mind, no sneaking, no excuses, no pity party and then the success will come. Being in a place where you don't want to be is not a time to give up but a time to start again.
So let's start fresh...it's the third month of 2016...time to dust off our resolutions and see what we can tackle as the weather starts to warm up and we plan things for spring and summer! Let's get in charge of our minds and together we can conquer our body and kick butt this month. Now is the time...no reason to say no...every reason to say yes.
Embrace the suck...choose you...you go this!