Back at it...again.

So I have watched my scale creep up a half a pound at a time for the past few weeks and there has to be a point in which you say...okay this is enough.  Knowing that Thanksgiving is just a few weeks away which is followed by an insane amount of Christmas cookies and other holiday indulgences...I have to get myself in the right mind frame TODAY!

Whether we decide the day is the day when we want to tackle six pounds or sixty...that first day is a tricky one.   Our Halloween candy is sitting in the kitchen filling an entire brown paper grocery bag.  I need to remind myself that candy will exist after today...I don't need to consume it all as if it was it's last day on earth, that is what I did both Saturday night and Sunday afternoon.  As amazing as I think that 100 Grand, Almond Joy and Snickers truly taste...the way they make me feel five minutes later is full crap!  My runs are more sluggish, my stomach doesn't feel great, I am more lazy around the house, and my overall motivation is zapped.  It truly does not help that this day is cloudy and a slight chill is in the air.  Wouldn't it be an amazing day to bake something...NO NO STOP!!

So I can still see the wagon, the horse...the items I need to get myself back on...I have not fallen too far away.  I know that a few strong weeks of focused eating...note I am not saying starving-I still eat....and exercise I will drop these silly post race pounds and be at my fighting weight to drop kick the holiday weight gain!  I really do like to eat healthy...I get to eat more...and I need to remember how wonderful it makes me feel.  When I feel good on the inside that confidence comes outside and I am a happier person.

But let's be honest here...it's not fun.  When I worked in the corporate world I knew where the candy bowls were located on the floor, I was in tight with the catering group, I would swing by and grab a cookie or brownie during a training session...I never said NO!  I didn't accept the fact that life is really this for that...If I didn't do the work I was not going to get the reward.  I didn't have that moment of clarity.

These past few weeks I watched as I weighed every morning...or skipped a morning because I knew it wasn't going to be what I wanted to see...the number was not going in the direction I wanted it to.  I was making the excuses.  I was still exercising but I was not tracking and on the ball or making the smart choices.  I was giving myself some slack and telling myself that I worked so hard for all those weeks...this will be okay.  I was hoping that run and bootcamp class covered my intake for the day. 

It is okay to take that break however now I have work to do...work I know I can accomplish but just like that fifth load of laundry sitting at the top of the stairs....you just don't really want to do it.  I still wish I was blessed with a metabolism that let me just have at it every day and not have to keep in check...but here I am...a busy mom of four kids who has to get her runs in during the early morning hours and leggo the eggo that I would love to devour and stick with my maple brown sugar oatmeal and cup of decaf  tea.  I need to fill up my naglen and get my 32oz in three times a day...I need to not lick the knife of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich I made...I need to forget there is every candy bar under the sun in this house and I am not having it.  I need to remember that I am determined, have will power, and am stronger than all of this.  

I have a race I will start training for in eight weeks...I have a new goal.  Without this goal I sometimes lose focus but if I get there...if I shed these few extra post race pounds...I will be ready to tackle this new goal faster and stronger than before.  I need to remember how that feels...that is way better than a snickers bar!

Embrace the suck...choose you...get back on the wagon!!