Press On

Well if you have any friends in the running community that love to race you probably heard them talking at length about yesterday's Army Ten Miler.  What was the race that attracted me to the sport and made me fall in love with it got hit with some nasty weather conditions yesterday.  78 degrees when we finally arrived at the start and 100% humidity.  I am the runner that is excited about a 9 degree run well before I would ever be excited about 78 degrees and humid as all get out.

school trip selfie

The days leading into race weekend were busy and chaotic as most days are these days thus the limited number of blog entries as of late.  Thursday was a field trip to the national zoo with my little first grader, running club at school followed by a few hours at work.  Friday was a trip into DC to pick up my packet for Army with a night out with girlfriends and then taking in some live music while chatting for a long time with an amazing new friend, but ended up with a late night to bed.  Saturday was a quick run before we headed to Cambridge MD to cheer on some of hubby's athletes as they did what some will forever view as impossible...completing an Ironman.  This was another late night with an early alarm set to head into the Pentagon for my race day.  Five hours of sleep the  night before the race is sometimes normal with nerves but mine was just pure lack of time.  This is life of a parent...the days are long and the years are short.  We cram as much as we can into these days and just figure out a way to make it all work...not just for us but for everyone involved.  

Army Strong

I would be lying to you if I said I handle all of this with ease an a smile on my face.  I have felt pretty worn down emotionally and physically as of late.  Those four days of marathon adulting were really the icing on the cake.  An old friend passed away unexpectedly a few weeks ago, I didn't get into Boston, a very sad man did some very horrible things to innocent people in Las Vegas.  I was feeling very overwhelmed with all that was on my plate and I was not handling it how I wanted to.  I always want to be strong and be the example but for last week I had hit my limit.  

In that moment of realization that I am not in fact superwoman nor do I want to try to be her, I finally had that moment of acceptance and just cried, a big ugly cry but I got it out.  I

Kids being Kids at IMMD

talked with those around me that are the amazing sounding boards that I need them to be.  There was compassion, tough love, and understanding.  I know I do not have it all together and I hope that I don't come off that I do.  I am typically a hot mess just rolling with the punches and hoping I am not too late to the class party or to preschool pick up.  I am just trying to survive these long days showing them ways to be kind and think of others and smile and bring a smile to someone else along the way.  Some days I rock this...other days I fail tremendously...and both are okay.

my hot mess flat momma

So here was race day of the race that I love so much...and I pretty much knew before we even started running that there was not going to be a PR set that day.  I was just going to try my best to get through it with limited walking and complaining and f-bombs.  I started with my girlfriend but we got split up around mile 3.5.  The race that I loved so much was not "there for me" but I still had to go through with it all.  I had to get back to the finish and there was only one way this was going to happen.  I walked at the water stop around mile 6.5 knowing that the bridge was coming.  I was telling myself how I can run three miles on any day and just do it already.  I started up my tired legs and just kept on going.  

There was a man next to me on the bridge walking and on the back of his shirt were the words "PRESS ON."  As I came up next to him I said the words on his shirt aloud....and loud enough so he could hear them.  He heard me and turned his head and said..."Yes..press on."  He then started running again.  The girl behind us said...guess you can't wear that shirt if you don't want to reminded of it.  He laughed and I think was happy to be moving again.  Every day we have that moment to press on...to get past the crap and heavy stuff to be reminded of the good and warm and fuzzy stuff.  It is not to say that the crap and heavy stuff doesn't weigh us down and make the day really hard.  Some days despite so many efforts finding any sight of the good and warm and fuzzy is near impossible...but I will forever remind myself to press on...to know that there is better out there.  I know that I can do better...I know that we as a collective society can do better...I know that we can do better for those of families who have lost loved ones and are hurting.  Everyone everyday is trying to press on but they may need some help getting there.  That is where my hot mess, big silly smiley self  likes to strike up a conversation with a stranger and try to make the connection.  That is where I want to see if I can make someone smile and learn and grown from something I learned from this new person.  

my visor always with me

Sunday's race was not amazing in the sense of my pace that I was able to maintain...it was amazing in that so many people pressed on despite the crap conditions  of the day.  It was amazing to see so many come together to better themselves, to try something new, to scare themselves a bit and live outside of their comfort zone.  Amazing does not have to be a picture perfect scene...amazing is what every moves you...whatever makes you keep going...whatever has you press on.  

Embrace the suck...choose you and press on.

Finish ATM 2017 1:29:08