Monday, September 26, 2016

As my little ones would say...that's a long long time

15 years is a long time to be with the same person day in and day out.  The ups and downs are too many to count and the moments of togetherness and craziness are balanced out with alone time and quiet.  What you want when you are 18 years old is probably a whole lot different than when you are 38.  Sometimes you change together and sometimes you change apart.  Both of these offer many different kinds of challenges and the changes that are together hopefully are a lot easier to tackle.  Stay at home mom of four, working part time at a running store, supportive Iron Widow four years and going strong, kid taxi and chef...the list of things we all attempt to balance is too long to write.  
May 1997

Over the past year or so I feel like my mom community has gotten larger and stronger and more honest with each other.  I don't know if it's because I am now an "older" mom in the group and to say I care less about the small things is wrong...but I guess I just know that things have a way of working out and it's too hard to stress over.  I am constantly reminded and thankful for the village I have around me that helps on a daily basis get through the day to day of mommyhood.  The guilt that is thrown out by our kiddos just really can break us down.  It's hard and it's exhausting and some days like this past friday night, I thought my mommy card should had been revoked.  Some days I just feel no good.

So where does hubby come in on all this.  Hubby and I are lucky that we are able to be involved in our kids sports, definitely with help from our friends.  We have children that understand that some days games will be missed or we may show up late due to our own personal commitments to our selves.  Hubby is closing in on two weeks till his big dance in Kona...we all are looking forward to the break but probably no on more than him.  Not only does he commit to this training and his goals...but he does so at a neck breaking pace.  He runs faster than I could ever dream of running and his bike just flies.  He has had way too many early mornings and staying up too late prepping the kids stuff for the next day or reviewing algebra before heading to coach swimming.  It's a good thing that this race is so soon...his flame is about to burn out.

As the wife of all of this...yes I am supportive but yes I get frustrated.  Having a spouse have any kind of hobby for themselves is taxing on a relationship.  I am fortunate that I understand the commitment participating myself, but it doesn't make the days any easier, just justified.  The early nights for early morning workouts and not really having a date night in forever kind of stink.  We haven't opened a bottle of wine and just chatted in a while either.  Our life has been logistics, commitments, training and planning, planning and planning.  As much as we focus on our fitness and remind ourselves that we can do hard things...that transfers over to our relationships too.  

September 2001
Marriage is a lot of hard work, times are not always's not the honeymoon phase forever.  But that is also okay.  As long as we keep things going forward, keep talking to each other, stay up for the late night return home to share our day, make a point to reconnect, we can get through these times as well.  We can continue to support and even inspire.  I think that is a truly important part of our marriage...the inspiration side of it all.  We have both changed into different people, people that we didn't know existed and we see the physical transformation but also the internal transformation.  We have both come out as stronger people and through it all we are stronger together.  

So I will raise my glass in 12 days when I get my husband back.  I will raise it in two days to celebrate the 15 years we have been married, 20 years we have been together.  I will continue on this journey that is life and marriage with a man that I love and admire and at times even drives me crazy.
GrahamFam Six Pack

Embrace the Suck...Choose You...Remember it's a long road and we all change...just be sure to come out a better person than you went in good them together.

1 comment:

  1. Awww, congrats on 15 years! Good luck to your hubby in Kona - that's so cool!