It wasn't all the kids fault

So it would be easy to say that I gained my weight on and off over the past ten years due to having four healthy babies.  That however would be a lie.

Growing up I was very active in sports and grew up in the time when you just played outside until your mom called you in for dinner.  I played sports all the way through my senior year of high school and enjoyed every moment of it...except the LONG runs around the middle school for varsity field hockey practice...that was KILLER!  I still remember running with my buddies Amy and Patty and when we were far enough away from the coaches we would walk and over exaggerate moving our bodies up and down to make it look like from afar we were still running.  So silly!

I went off to college and that is where my athletic career came to a screeching halt.  I met this dreamy guy named Ben within my first month there and well the rest is history.  I went to the parties, stayed up late, managed to get to class and ate A LOT of bad bad food.  Health and fitness had no place in my life and I was just as happy as a pig in overalls...literally!  I even can remember the girls that would go to the little gym we had on campus and I really could not comprehend why in the world they would want to do that!

Ben and I got engaged seven months after I graduated.  I was so excited and so very young and still had no place in my life for fitness and exercise.  You would think a ring on my finger would maybe direct my car to a gym or the outer perimeter of the grocery store-not the case.  We got married in September of 2001 and my dress was a size 16.  I never once thought that I was overweight or unhealthy.  It was just who I had become in the past five years and I had a man that loved me and wanted to marry me-I was happy!

2001 was my tipping point

November of 2001 I joined Weight Watchers, weighing in at 200.8 lbs.  It was a VERY eye opening experience for me.  I had heard of wonderful success with WW so I felt it would be worth a try.  I went to my first meeting the Monday before Thanksgiving-crazy time to start but I only had everything to LOSE!  I remember coming home that night and saying to Ben-I did this today, I am going to give it a try, I do not want to talk about it again.  I joined a gym, began shedding some pounds, formed a group at work that joined as well and by August of 2002 I lost 51 pounds.  

I was in a really good place and felt normal.  I got a second job at Ann Taylor so I could buy all new clothes.  I did it and was so very happy AND healthy AND fit.  We got pregnant in the fall of 2003 and I tried my best between each baby to lose that weight again and again and again!  I had done it once and knew I would be able to do it again!

Running still did not find me until 2008 for good but I knew I had the tools to battle the weight on my own over the years.  

Embrace the suck and choose you-I am so happy I did!

Why not today??

Why not today...

• It's cold
• It's going to be hard
• I have a party coming up this weekend...and I know I'll eat a lot then, so I'll start after that
• I am so slow, I used to be faster and getting back to that point is going to be miserable
• I haven't worked out in FOREVER
• I want to eat a cheeseburger and fries and not care today
• I am so out of shape!
• Did I mention it's going to be hard!!!

The list can go on and on

Why today...

• It's cold-maybe I can get a new fun running jacket to wear
• It's going to be hard-but damn I will be so proud of me when I complete it!
• Party this weekend-Well I could start now to get a little ahead of the game so all that I do eat won't be on top of a really bad week.
• So slow-I didn't start out fast-it took time to get there...I can do it again.
• I haven't worked out in FOREVER-EMBRACE THE SUCK-it will not be fun for the first little bit but it WILL get easier!
• Cheeseburger and fries-these two items are my post race splurge usually-you can still eat them and lose weight! Everything in moderation.
• Out of shape-well you said it...today is step one on getting in shape.
• Super hard-if it was easy then everyone would be fit and healthy...it's hard work but not impossible!!

It's not easy and it never is.  It's hard to pick you every day and make fitness and nutrition a priority.  It's so easy to fall back on old habits and stay comfortable.  Trying something new is always scary and hard and not the first choice.  

I still don't know where this blog is going to take me...but I will say in day three of Orange Visor I am speechless.  The support you guys have given me is amazing and the messages I am receiving from you make me smile and shed a tear.  I know how hard it is to make the choice to start but I also know how amazing the reward is on the other side.  

Embrace the suck and choose you today...you'll be so happy you did!

In your head...mental games

I kind of feel like this is a second date, I have been wondering how long I should wait to write again...didn't want it to be too soon, want to keep it interesting...then I said-whatever...here is entry number two, and who cares if I called too soon ;)

Today marked the third three day weekend in a row for my kids, two of which were caused by snow days that were anything but.  This makes me want to sleep in and eat everything in my house that is not nailed down.  This also makes a treadmill run happen because I stay up too late in the hopes of school closing so my kids can have a down day and I don't want to get up and go in the windy cold and run at 6:30 am.

Yesterday, I did a Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD that was gifted to me by a dear friend who clearly wants me to never walk again.  I am currently training for my second full marathon in April and am running high mileage right now.  I thought, this will be a nice little switch.  I put in the DVD with all four kids and a friend sitting in the room, watching and cheering me on.  It seemed fun and something new and different-I enjoyed it.  Twenty minutes post DVD I could already feel it in my legs.

Today-different story-I am REALLY feeling it in my butt and quads despite participating in a squat challenge for the entire month of January!  Jillian Michaels-you killed me.  My training plan had me at three miles today but I haven't been listening to my training plan so I ran six.  The last mile was really hard for me.  I was not mentally into the run and just wanted it over from .01 of the run, I had a cramp in my side, and my legs were sore.  I told myself more than once, you were only supposed to run three...just stop now.  I didn't - I said that this is the final mile of my marathon-and if I stop I will be beyond disappointed with myself.

I really think running is the most mental thing any one person can do.  It is fully mind over matter. I finished the run...and even ran a little bit of my cool down on the treadmill...and I am not sure why runners do this to themselves on a regular basis.  Tomorrow I hope to hit the dry pavement before the kids get off to school so I don't have to guilt myself onto the treadmill mid morning or late afternoon.  The run stays in your head before it happens and after...and during.  Glad today's is behind me.

here goes nothing...with an orange visor

Well, I am scared to death to start this whole process.  Putting things into words has never been my strong suit.  People would say I am a chatty, bubbly, and sometimes loud individual but the deep down dark details make the hair on the back of my neck stand up.  So here goes nothing.  I am starting a blog.  

Much like training for the first race I ever did this is an overwhelming experience.  You tell yourself you can do this, other people are doing it, the constant comparing starts but then you have to take action.  That is where is all gets scary.  You are in charge of you.  The only person holding you back is you.  Making a plan is easy, creating a schedule, doing research, all looks simple on paper.  But then the day comes when you have to put your feet outside that door and take action.  It is no longer talk-you are doing it.  

The first race Ben and I ever ran was a five miler in Ashburn Virginia which started in the open field in front of Belmont Country Club in 2008.  I don't even remember the name of it or what my time was but I just remember it was HARD!  Started getting interested in the sprint triathlons so did a few of those and one of the pieces of swag at the Ashburn Tri was an orange visor.  Game Changer!  

That orange visor is a safety net for me, my lovey if you will.  I even run with it on the treadmill...no sunlight in my basement but it's on my head.  If ever driving around town and you see a girl with an orange visor on running, it's probably me!  I have had four children and gained probably 50 pounds with each baby, so I have lost 200 pounds if you want to look at it that way.  That visor has been with me through each of those pounds.  I am not a trainer, a dietitian, a nutritionist, nor a therapist.  I am a strong woman, wife, mother, friend, short order cook, running buddy, coach and whatever else you want me to be.  I can be your orange visor.

Join me on this journey...not sure where it will take me but I am excited...I want to inspire and be inspired....I want to give what I can and learn along the way.  

Army Ten Miler Through the Years 2008, 2009, 2013, 2014
PR 1:18:25